time

Summer is but a memory and fall is here. How do I manage to waste so much time. I love to write, and yet I spend very little time actually writing. I would love to publish a book someday (as if I have the talent to do so) and yet I want it to fall into my lap. I have had amazing feedback on the writing that has been shared publicly, and it does encourage and uplift me, and yet I still sit waiting for the deal to come. I am not an arrogant person by nature, and here I am, arrogantly thinking I am worthy of something at all, let alone, having it fall into my lap.  How frustrated God must be with us when we live so much of our life wasting time instead of enjoying the goodness He gives us.  I firmly believe that God only gives us glimpses of joy on earth because we cannot handle the full joy that will be ours in Heaven, but I also believe that we miss a whole lot of the goodness that is delivered to us.  As much as I shake my head at my kids,  God has to be shaking His head at me.  I just finished reading the Shack.  It is a wonderful book.  It did make me think about relationships and how blessed I am in my life.  There is so much I want to write at the moment, and yet, I feel compelled to go take care of some other things. So- for now- this is it- just some ramblings and nonsensical thoughts......

Spring?

The birds are singing outside my window and it is raining instead of snowing. Spring is here! I hope. Ernie Banks got his long overdue statue at Wrigley and the Cubs are playing ball. It is a very good day. I had a long conversation with a friend of mine today about wanting to be perfect. He is caught up in wanting to be perfect for God and is forgetting that Jesus is the perfect one. We are to aim for perfection, but we also need to realize that we will not achieve it on earth. It is not a free pass to be a slacker. It is, however, a promise full of hope. I am listening to the Cubs play and Ernie is talking- what a man. He too has always been full of hope. He is a gracious man, and so humble. He is amazing. I can't wait to get to Wrigley and see the statue. I digress. I pray that my friend can be content in his brokenness and can see the beauty of what God has made in him. I pray that everyone can see God knows what He is doing, and that we have to stop pretending to be something we are not and let the potential that is in us out. We are like spring- there is beauty within and in the right time, we will burst forth and share our beauty with all those around us.

A whole lot of calling

I wonder sometimes what would happen if people followed their true calling. I mean all people. I am sure that there are people in the world who are doing what they were created to do, but I also know that there are many people who are just plodding along trying to get through each day without too much defeat. Maybe it is just overwhelming to do what we are called to do. Maybe we are doing what we are called to do but we have trouble seeing it as a calling. Maybe we just need to look at specifics instead of the general picture. There are those who are called to teach, to serve, to research, to heal, to nurture, to study, to disseminate information. Perhaps we need to remember that the sum of our parts is equal to the whole, and that is what makes us Holy. People spend a lot of time doing good things throughout the day and although they may seem insignificant on their own, when added together, a difference is being made. Stay at home moms are a perfect example. When you look at one day and the things that occur, it may not seem all that great. Wiping noses, washing dishes, playing Candyland over and over, doing laundry, driving kids here, there, and everywhere, recess duty, computer duty, lunch-room duty, art mom, cooking mom, bringing forgotten items to school so the field trip can be attended, the saxophone can be played, the test can be signed- all those things seem so insignificant in the grand scheme of life. Can one truly be called to do that? Not very glamorous. However- when you look deeper and really consider it a calling, then you are doing those things, but you are also instilling confidence (they know you will be there for anything), you are giving tangible evidence of love (you spend your time where they are instead of elsewhere), you are building relationships with your children, you are serving, you are setting examples, you are giving something that is much bigger than yourself. That is Holy. Obviously, I am biased toward stay at home moms since I am one, but I also fall into the trap that what I am doing is not important. It is so much more than being a mom. I am in the business of building disciples. Not just my own children, but all the children I come into contact with every day I spend at school. I don't often really take the time to consider that my calling. Here I am doing exactly what I always wanted to do, and I am taking it for granted. I am plodding along instead of greeting each day with praise and adoration for what God has done for me. He placed me in my sweet spot and I am letting it sour. Each day we fail to see the blessings God has placed in front of us, we are missing an opportunity to pour out thanksgivings to our Saviour for what He has done and for what He will do through us. Can you imagine the kind of world we could have if we all realized what our calling is and then lived it? Talk about Heaven on Earth!! I am blessed that I at least believe I know what my calling is. It has been placed in front of me- I just have to take it and run with it. Are you following your calling? If so- are you jumping for joy that you know what it is? If not- what are you going to do today to get a step closer to it? God tells us through His word that his plans for us are to prosper. If we are not prospering, then we need to take a close look at what we are getting wrong in our daily life. We need to ask for wisdom and discernment so we can find our calling. For once we do that, we can't help but prosper. We can all make a difference in this world; we were all created for something much bigger than we have planned for ourselves. Our dreams are so limited. It is such an amazing thing that our Creator is limitless and He is waiting for us to follow His call on our lives- follow it fully with joy and thanksgiving. When we follow our calling, that is when we truly start living. Do you hear Him? He is calling.....

Easter

This is an amazing day. I love Easter. I love the joy of the songs, the readings, the message, all of it. It is a day of hope and redemption and a fresh start. Normally it is a bright spring day with the flowers beginning to bloom, and we are surrounded with new life all around. Even the 8 inches of snow we received friday can't hamper the joy and feeling of new life. Jesus has given it all to us. We need for nothing. Our lives here on earth may be frustrating, agonizing, even downright dreary, but we can still be filled with hope. We have the greatest gift- we have life beyond this earth. I love that my kids aren't afraid to yell out HE IS RISEN INDEED ALLEUIA!! all day long. Now we just need to take this joy and excitement and hope and realize that we have it every day. yes, today is the day that we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord, but the gift is given each and every day. There is not one day that goes by where we do not have the hope of Christ. The price he willingly paid on the cross covers it all- every bad thing, every foul mood, every injustice. It has all been paid for by the blood of Jesus. Every day is filled with hope. Every day is amazing. Every day here is a day closer to Heaven. ALLEUIA!!!

Blah

I am exhausted. Just simply tired and not sure if it will ever get better. I wonder why life gets so overwhelming and busy. I firmly believe that God wants us to enjoy life and showers us with blessing upon blessing. I think that life gets so busy that we don't see the blessing. I know that I bring it on myself, but it is a frustrating circle nonetheless. I have so much to be thankful for, and so much support and encouragement in my life. I still feel like I am floundering and there aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done. I know I am not alone in those feelings, but I wonder why so many people feel this way and yet we do nothing to change it. Life is all about relationships, yet the focus is often on things and activities. I was trying to think of ways to simplify and make life less stressful and I realized that with 4 children, it is just going to be a full life. There are 6 schedules in our house. 6 different sets of likes, dislikes, interests, hobbies, etc.. Even with one activity per person we would be doing something 6 times a week. God does have a sense of humor. I know that one of these decades when I finally give up control I will get the answer to my question. I will know how to live a life that is full of important relationships and not so many things on a "to do" list. I am waiting for that day and excited to see how God is going to bring me there. I know I can't do it myself- I have been trying that for far too long and not doing so well at it. I am just wondering how long I will continue to fight God and go to bed exhausted every night. I am waiting for the energy that submitting to Him brings. I know what I want to do- I just can't seem to let go of the reins and let the one who created me take over. One of these days.....

The ultimate Cubs fan

A few weeks ago I was driving home after dropping my husband off to catch a plane for a business trip. We had been discussing the Cubs. I realized that God is a lot like a Cubs fan. Cubs fans are used to being disappointed by performance. As a matter of fact, we really just expect to be let down. A lot. However, we still get excited when things look even a little promising. They don't even have to making all that great of plays for us to stand up and jump up and down with the thrill of watching them do what they are SUPPOSED to be doing. Let's face it- going to Wrigley and sitting in the sun and taking it all in is an uplifting experience. The wins are nice, but it is more about the community of the game. We are all there to hope for the best and keep on loving the whole package when we are disappointed. God does that. He wants the win, but He loves us in spite of our shortcomings. He just wants us to enjoy the community and to give it our best each day. He sees our potential as reality. It gets even better because He knows that in the end of it all, we have already won. He has given us the most important win. We get the honor of playing in the game that we cannot lose. We don't need to hit the grand slams. We just have to show up and do what we were created to do. Our whole journey on earth is to become a little more like God each day. We will never attain perfection on this earth, but it is ok. We are redeemed beings. Our purpose here is to enjoy the game- to support one another in our joys and sorrows. We are called to bear each other's burdens and celebrate successes. We are allowed to jump up and down with one another just because we are doing what God created us to do. God is watching my game and has my name on His jersey. He is watching your game with your name on his jersey. He is cheering us every step of the way and shouting "There goes my champion!". He is our biggest fan, and he will never get tired of seeing our potential. He knows what we are capable of accomplishing, and he is waiting to see it happen. He doesn't ever say "Wait 'til next year". He already knows all that we will do in this life and he loves us for all that we are. That is a comforting feeling, and one that is far better than a world series win.

Father's Day

It is an amazing day today. We went to church last night. This morning I got up at 5 and started walking with Jodi at 5:30. We finished 11 miles before 9. Jim was able to sleep until 8. He wants to spend the day working on the deck. Sounds good to me! I want to get things organized!! The sun is shining and I just feel like today will be a great day. I am so blessed that God has made Jim into the father he is. He is so great with the girls and truly enjoys being a daddy. It is a great way to look at how God feels about each of us. He loves us completely and wants only the best for us. He smiles when He sees us. He loves it when we run to Him shouting "Daddy, Daddy" and cling to His legs. He wants to protect us from all harm, but knows there are some lessons that must be learned on our own. He gets frustrated when we make the same mistakes over and over and expect different results, but His love is never diminished. It is perfect and true. There is nothing He will not do for us, and unlike our earthly father, he has the power to do it all. He gave it all to us on a beautiful cross, and showed us how to truly love. No wonder it is a beautiful day!!!