Wednesday, March 18, 2009


So far Lent has been scattered.  We are 3 weeks into Lent, and it has flown by.  It is still difficult to put things into proper priority.  There is a proper order, but it is often confusing trying to figure out just exactly what that is.  My devotions have been focused on God's calling.  I have often struggled with the story of Jesus telling the man to leave all his possessions and follow him (Jesus).  The man then asks to bury his father.  Jesus tells him to let the dead bury the dead.  That is where I struggle.  I have a hard time finding the balance between putting Jesus first and taking care of myself so I can take care of others.  I consider my family my first church, so how can I neglect them to do other "godly" things?  It is a balancing act that I don't balance very well. The more time I spend in prayer and in the Word, the more I wonder about what I am doing and how I should continue.  I love volunteering at school and spending time there, and feel called to do so.  However, there are things at home that have to get done.  How do I make the time to make sure they get done?  How do I make the time to take care of myself in the way that the doctors are telling is now a necessity?  There are not enough hours in the day to get everything done that needs to be done.  I know that God does not make mistakes, so surely He did not give me more children than I have time to nurture, did he?  Six people in a family makes for a lot of stuff- and a lot of things to clean up, clothes to wash, to dry, to fold, to put away, papers to go through, to file, bills to pay, just a lot of things to do.  Yet, I also know that ALL things are possible with God, so I just need to stop trying to do it all myself and start letting Him take control and maybe instead of being in the passenger seat I need to get in the back seat.  Although I am a back seat driver.  I am starting to have a few revelations about myself- I think God is slowly leaking information that I can finally handle- and it is starting to sink in.  There might be some interesting posts to come in the future.....

No comments: