Friday, November 16, 2012
I believe that sometimes I get so wrapped up in thinking about what it is that God wants me to be doing with my life that I forget about what it is that I am already doing. I get caught up thinking about grand and glorious plans and ways of making big and amazing differences on a global scale that I don't see what is right in front of me. I have been charged with the honor of raising 4 daughters. I have made a vow to love a man. God gave me these gifts. He brought people into my life and sometimes (oftentimes) I get so caught up in serving others (in the name of serving my family) that I ignore the very people that God gave to me to love first and foremost directly after Him. I am out to change the world and I neglect the people I have been asked by God Himself to raise as His disciples. Don't get me wrong- my children are by no means neglected- I am with them day in and day out and I cook and clean and am at their every event. However, am I doing the most amount of good I can for them? Am I being the best example I can? Am I showing them that being their mom is truly a gift? I want them to know that if all I did in life was to raise them to be godly women then it would be more than enough. I would have made all the difference I need in the world. God would have worked through me to do more than I could have ever imagined. I want my everyday to be enough of a miracle that I count it as amazing. My prayer is that I allow God to guide my steps and move from knowing that His will be done to living His will. That is when my ordinary life will become an extraordinary gift.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
I don't know what life God has intended for me, but I am quite sure that the one I am living isn't it. The treadmill rat race of never ending craziness certainly cannot be the plan for me- or anyone. There are moments of brilliance, and joy and love and even contentment, but overall, the restlessness pervades my soul and tells me He has more for me than this. On my good days, I ask Him to show me what it is that I need to do to follow His will and get my act together to do what He has planned for me. On my not so good days I get angry or sad or even a little depressed and wonder why I have wasted so many years trying to do His will only to have failed so miserably. I then pray and look to Scripture and think maybe this or that is my cross to bear and what is in it for me to learn, how can I be a better person from this, what can I take from it, how is God speaking to me, and I contemplate my life and all the good that is in it and all the blessings I have on a daily basis. I cannot complain. I have been blessed and blessed abundantly. I am surrounded with people who love me and comforts that the majority of the people in the world can only dream about. Yet, I still feel like I still have not found my true calling. I know what I love to do and where I find small moments of peace, and yet do not know how to do that on a daily basis and make life work. My soul aches for the feeling of belonging. Perhaps I have finally come to the point where I realize that I am not home, and I will not lose that restlessness until I sit at the feet of Jesus. Maybe I need to shift my focus and remember that my life here is only to prepare me for eternity with Jesus. I am not supposed to feel like this is all there is because there is so much more waiting for me. Instead of waiting for more than earth can give, I can just find the joy that is here and be content with all that it does offer and remember what is to come. That could be a game changer. Instead of asking the question "Is this all there is?" It turns into a statement- "This is all I need, because I have so much more waiting for me!"
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Sometime ago, I was asked to contribute to a book of essays that was going to be compiled by Margaret McSweeney. It was about lessons and legacies of faith. I knew right away I wanted to tweak what I had written for my grandma's funeral. It was exciting and daunting. All of the proceeds from the book go in full to WINGS (Women In Need Growing Stronger), an organization located in the suburbs of Chicago, and Hands of Hope, which helps women and children in Africa. I am honored to be a part of this project and am so excited to hold the finished product in my hand. God is so good, and this is awesome! Check it out at http://www.amazon.com/Mother-Pearl-Luminous-Lessons-Iridescent/dp/1462401589/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1338931304&sr=8-1
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Where does the time go? It has been almost a year since my last post. I have been writing a lot, but just not posting. God is growing me in ways I never imagined, and if I could, I would be able to fill several books with all the ways that God is showing me how He is at work in my life- even when it is difficult. My life is running at full speed at all times, but with four children, a husband, and a big extended family, I expect it to be that way. I take the quiet when I can, and really try to listen. We have had some major changes in our lives in the last year, and it has not been easy. Life can be disappointing. Even though my world is relatively small as far as I am surrounded by people who at first glance are seemingly just like me, I am constantly amazed at just how different people are once you see what is truly important to them. Several things have come to light over the past year that have shown me that people are not always who they seem. In some ways it is good, because I have learned good things about people that I would have never known otherwise. It reaffirmed that Jesus is the only one who will never let you down or disappoint you. It still does not make it easier when those disappointments occur. I have so far to go in my faith, and yet sometimes is seems like I am constantly being broken down to be made stronger. Just when I think I cannot take anymore, or the whirlwind that is my life is going to finally catch up with me, something happens that fills me with peace or strength or love that sustains me. I must be wired to need to live at a frenetic pace. I don't know what to do without a full schedule. God is in control, and He will get me through. My life is crazy, and it is busy, but it is also fun, and full of laughter and really good people who love much more than I deserve. It is a rich and rewarding life.