Friday, October 9, 2009
It is raining today. A crisp fall day. 3 of the kids do not have school and yet I am alone in the house. It is supposed to be a productive day. So far I have not been that productive. I have a lot to get done. My house is in shambles and my life has been running at warp speed. I feel the need to write, so here I sit. I have music playing and I hear the familiar tick tock of the clock. It is reassuring. The mess is waiting for me. I am going to attack it room by room. I feel like I also have thousands of ideas in my head waiting to burst out and not enough time to let them all out. I wonder how things got so busy, so out of control. I love my children, my spouse, my life. I wouldn't change the way I spend my days. I am so blessed to be able to volunteer in school. I love doing what I do. I am involved in my children's lives. I know their teachers, I know what happens in their days. I am at their games, at their field trips, at the school store. They even know me at the high school. I feel I am right where God wants me to be. Yet, it is still chaotic. That doesn't seem right. Somewhere I am missing the mark. I am trying to discern where it is I am not hearing His voice. I truly believe that if you are doing what God wills, you will not feel overwhelmed. There are many days I feel overwhelmed. I do not like living in a disorganized, cluttered house, and mine is the definition of one. The basement is a scary place to be. I don't like it. My goal this weekend is to bring the house back to the level of organization that is to a standard where I will not be embarrassed to have people see how we live. Then I can take a deep breath and face the day. I know God will direct my path, give me strength and get me through the weekend. I may very well be a new woman by tuesday!