Thursday, February 5, 2009
How did Job do it?
I have been thinking about Job a lot lately. I just want to know how he stood so firm in his joy and faith. I want to be content in my circumstances. I want to praise God in all things. I have an amazing life. I have been abundantly blessed. I seem to continually struggle with the same "thorns in my flesh". I make the same mistakes. Over. and over. and over. and over. It is tiring. I don't know how God puts up with me. I want to change my behavior pattern, and yet I fall into the same rut. I have begged God to help me. I had a revelation the other day that perhaps things hadn't change because I was always trying to come up with the solutions on how to best "fix" the problems. I realized I needed to just let God do his thing. That is easier said then done though, when bills need to be paid and money has to come from somewhere. I look at some of the things I struggle with on a daily basis and I just have to shake my head. I don't know how I arrived at this place. I don't know how to leave. I am stuck in a moment and I can't get out of it. I have been praying for surrender for quite some time, and it has been a painful process, but I still have along way to go. I don't feel much closer to the destination, and that is disheartening. However, I do know that God is walking beside me, and oftentimes, He is carrying me. He is the only way I am making it through each day. He is the only way I will be able to continue to shine. He is the reason why someday I will understand how Job was able to be content. He is the way I will someday be content myself. I am just waiting for that day to arrive.